Chad - Round 3

The last time I went to Chad, in January this year (not even a year ago!) I thought it would be my last time. The day I left, I remember watching the city of Moundou going by the window of the bus, and feeling sad that I would probably never see it again. It was weird, because part of me felt like Chad was home. It had won a little piece of my heart.

Well, it turns out that *I am* going back!! Dr. Scott is no longer there, he moved to a different hospital in Sierra Leone. But the Bere Hospital has some great doctors, whom I met for a weekend, and they were happy to have me come and volunteer with them. So I bought tickets!

This is a bigger hospital at a very rural area. Some people travel for days to get there and receive medical care. The work they're doing there, against all odds and against all reason, is incredible. I can't wait to become a part of the team, to help anyway I can, and to learn as much as possible.

To make my trip possible, I have started a crowdfunding page. For those of you who want to and are able to help financially, every dollar counts and it will be greatly appreciated. Otherwise, every prayer,word of encouragement and positive thought is also very valued and much needed!

Watch the blog for more stories from med school and from the upcoming trip. Oh, yeah! And here's the link for my page, feel free to share it and help spread the word!!

https://www.gofundme.com/medical-volunteer-trip-to-africa-2v983vnw

Inadequate

It's funny how we think we've left those bricks behind, we've accepted that we belong and that we can do this... and then one single test can make us doubt all of that and wonder what the heck we're doing here, and who was it that let us in in the first place. 

I had a huge exam a few days ago. I studied *like crazy,* I was totally obsessed and was confident I knew the material very well. Then I went to the exam, and it was awful. It felt like nothing I studied was in there. There were no simple question-answer things, for every question you had to think it through and come up with an answer. 

I came out feeling like an idiot, thinking I had failed and had no business being in Med School. 

How is it that one test can bring up all those feelings I thought I had left behind? Nevermind that I did very well last semester, one test just nullifies everything. 

And then, I actually get the grade back. Scared. Can't even look at it. And then: I aced it!! I didn't just do well, I did *very well!* I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but I actually cried. Not really because I passed, but because I could shove all those feelings of inadequacy back to where they came from, and realize they're not based on evidence. They're based on fears. But no. I made it. I'm in. I'm doing well. I belong here, and nothing can stop me!!! 

Now it's back to studying so I can ace the next test. And the next one. And the one after that. 

Strangest shopping trip ever...

Hi everybody,

I didn't post in the last few days, but if you're following me on twitter, you know that I've been enjoying a wonderful few days in Paris. What a contrast it will be when I get to Chad!!

Yesterday I went to the Embassy of Chad to request a visa, and lo and behold, they were closed! It was their independence day. Not very cool, because they say it takes 3 days to get the visa. My flight is on Thursday at 4pm...

So I went back today, and they said no problem, it would be done Thursday morning. I'm gonna trust them and hope for the best...

After the embassy, with the assurance of the visa, I went on the weirdest shopping trip ever. I had searched online to find a store that sold medical supplies. It's in the outskirts of Paris, "la banlieu" if you know the region. I got there and started grabbing boxes of latex gloves, bottles of hand-sanitizer, seringes, needles, gauze packages, surgical masks, alcohol wipes, desinfectant wipes, and of course, mosquito repellent.

This is the kind of stuff most people never ever get to buy. Even those of us in the medical professions, we (or at least I) just take it for granted, you show up at the hospital, there are gloves, alcohol, needles. Buying this stuff somehow brought it home to me: I'm going to Africa. In 2 days. A place where the simplest medical supplies are scarce at best, and they make do with what they've got.

I think it hasn't quite sinked in yet... but today it's started to...