On the one side, I have a plane ticket to Nepal in 5 days, and the incredible opportunity to realize a trip I've been dreaming about for 12 years, to trek the Annapurna Mountains, see Mt. Everest base camp and cross from Nepal overland into Tibet. When I started dreaming about this, it was not even possible to do it, the border was still closed between Nepal and Tibet (China).
It has been possible for a few years, but I didn't have the means/time to do it. This is my chance, specially because the correct time to go is October, and once I start Medical School, I will never again have vacation or free time this time of the year.
However, a few things have happened lately that make me think I should stay in Chad for another 3 months. A couple of nurses from the US who were staying for a year had to leave due to unforseen family circumstances. Our general nurse supervisor is leaving to go train as a mid-wife in Cameroon. Our *only* anesthetist has not renewed his contract and also wants to leave.
Yesterday I had decided that despite all of that, I was leaving, that I am not indispensable, cannot do anesthesia, and they'll simply hire another nurse. There's also another nurse volunteer from Mexico who will be coming soon and can take my place.
Today I arrived back at the hospital, and the faces of all the patients when they saw me, the smiles, hugs and handshakes, were enough to make me want to stay.
But then, it was time for evening dressing changes. I left **very** specific instructions on how they should be done, and to one of the patients, Blaise (the one who almost lost his leg a couple of weeks ago), I told him to scream at the top of his lungs and not stop until someone came.
Well, turns out they did his dressing changes 4 times and my other patient, Gombo, only ONE TIME during the entire week I was gone.
I am furious! The night nurse saw me coming and asked if I was going to do the dressing changes (meaning she knows they should be done) and I said yes, because if I don't nobody else will. Why did it not get done? "Oh, we get busy and we forget" which is a blatant lie, they barely have anything to do at night, even if there are plenty of sick kids, after they start the IVs and put them on oxygen, there's nothing else to be done and they can certainly take half an hour to take care of the other patients. I asked her what if it was a question of life and death, and the patient died because she hadn't done her job, what then? This is not a question of life and death, but now he might lose his leg. How do you feel about that?!?!! --No answer.
So now my resolve is all gone down the drain, and I predict another sleepless night as I wrestle with this decision and try to figure out what I should do...
Any thoughts? Come on people, help me out here... Comment!!
No comments:
Post a Comment